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Angie Thompson's avatar

I had a short story recently that I started at least five or six times, and I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs. I knew the voice was a big part of my problem, but I couldn't figure out how to fix it. Finally, just before the story was due, I sat down to give it one last try, and the first words out of my narrator's mouth were:

*Who on earth had decided I needed an aunt in the first place?*

Wouldn't you know, I got that version finished and tied for first place in the contest. 😆

Jesse Cook's avatar

Woohoo 🙌

Congrats on making it to first place. Love that the voice just came out full of frustration too 😂

Angie Thompson's avatar

An utterly frustrated voice ended up being exactly what I was missing. 😆

Li Mitchell's avatar

Brilliant opening! 😆

Angie Thompson's avatar

Everything just fell into place after that. 😂

Li Mitchell's avatar

That’s great!

Gabrielle Marie Kozak's avatar

Very true, she thought; and laughed with the facial expression of an author who had seen far too many narrative voices not to have started feeling like a villain every time she invented a new one.

Then she turned back to her manuscript and continued writing.

~~~

“But you can’t offer a priest resignation,” Father said stupidly, “because you didn’t ordain him.”

Writer's Unblock's avatar

Loved this article!

It was cool to see how much the feeling of the scene changed after you made just a few small tweaks to the voice in the examples.

This made me think more about what voice I use in my writing. I usually go for a comedic voice (most of my characters are like that), but I think I need to work more on actually sitting down and getting inside their heads and thinking about their thoughts. So thank you for the reminder!

Rachel Writes Fiction's avatar

POV changing with characters and the narrative voice shifting alongside the POV changing is something I am noticing as I go through my editing. It'll be an interesting one to unpack.

Li Mitchell's avatar

Thank you for the in-depth article with the information and advice and examples of applying them. It was great seeing how different narrative voices affected the story about the necromancer and the apprentice, especially in the two examples where the apprentice is scared and resigned. The one where the apprentice is bitter made me laugh.

Also, I wanted to add that the examples' dialogue tended to include a dialogue tag ("said" and "asked") and an action tag ("peeled" and "taking"). Sometimes, you can create a more cinematic effect by dropping the dialogue tag and using only an action tag. For example, "'Stew, with some apple pie.' I took the gloves."

(Which is not to say that writers can't use both tags. I originally learned the action tag thing from a class that had me reading a book that took action tags to an extreme where every character was constantly moving. I've also heard this advice from authors who pull off very immersive stories with mostly action tags though, so that's why I like to try to use more action tags in my writing.)